Memorial 13

I WILL NEVER LOVE ANOTHER LIKE I DID CLARISSE...

She was only eight weeks old when I got her and we decided to call her Clarisse, after Jody Foster in "Silence of the Lambs". I know now how lucky I was to have a wonderful 13 years with her. She was the queen of the house who slept on my bed or rather was it her bed and I could swear that she was human sometimes??? I remember how sad she would get when I would leave the house every morning but then I remember how happy she would be when I would get home as if she hadn't seen me for years! I never felt alone with her by my side, she was my strength and comfort in my pain when I lost my mother and when I lost a dear friend to AIDS, and she was there during all the toughest times and hardest breakups. I will always remember her licking my tears and giving me kisses to make it all better. She was also there during the best year of my life, my daughter, Luna's first year. I really felt Clarisse was human, she was like my first-born daughter and she was also a great mother to her children, Webster & Boo. It was hard when I lost my two oldest dogs, it used to be a family of six dogs, Clarisse, Yogi, Snuggles, Webster, Boo & Mona. The two oldest being Yogi & Snuggles who died two years ago and then her son Webster who died in November of last year from an accident and I knew then that happened to prepare me for something worse.

Only a few months after her son died, Clarisse was diagnosed with cancer. She had grown a malignant fibro-sarcoma in the back of her jaw which couldn't be removed completely even by removing her jaw and chemotherapy would have given her a few extra months but not a good quality life, so they gave her 2 months because of how aggressive this tumor was growing and at that point, all I could do is keep her comfortable. Well she lasted 3 1/2 months and I consider myself lucky to have had that time with her and that I was there with her until the end. She had gone from 16 pounds down to 11 pounds because she was eating less and less every day and the tumor had also caused her to go blind. Then a few days ago, she fell off the bed because she couldn't stay still and she was throwing up the little bit she was eating and I looked at her and I didn't see the same Clarisse so I knew this was it even if she didn't complain because she was sedated. So I didn't want her to die a painful death and I didn't want her to die alone so I decided to do the right thing by putting her to sleep and be with her until her last breath. Let me tell you, it was the hardest thing I have ever done and if it wasn't for my daughter, Luna, I don't know how I would have made it through this...and believe it or not, this has been the biggest loss after the loss of my mother.

Unfortunately my daughter, Luna will never remember Clarisse since she was only 13 months old when Clarisse passed away... but she will have Clarisse's son, Boo and her granddaughter, Mona. I just want to say I will never love another dog like I did her and she will always be with me wherever I go because she is in my heart. Thank you, Clarisse, for giving me all the love you did and preparing me for motherhood. Your job is done here and now you are an angel of God who will always be watching over me.